Nik*
`Bleahx!..the onli name wit a !*
`Daron*
`fLaVia*
`Valarie*
`a$Hr@f*
`rEeN@*
`kEnneTh*
`gE0rGe*
`r!cK*
`haNn@h*
`mAnDah*
`@dl!n*
`@llY$$@*
`x!nY!*
`$us!e*
`sAbr!n@*
`A!$h@H*
`rEg!N@*
`mujie*
`Jinnie*
`J0eY*
`Shirin*
`Eugene*
leonard
gvss
17
| You Are More Yang |
 Masculine Creative Angry Spring Summer Morning Sun Space Active Wood Chocolate |
|
Your Kissing Purity Score: 80% Pure |
You've hardly ever been kissed But the kisses you've given are very missed |
| Your Love Type: INFP |
 The Idealist In love, you crave a long term, harmonious relationship. For you, sex doesn't come quickly - it takes time for you to open up. Overall, you are supportive, nurturing, and expressive. However, you tend to be shy and protective of your personal space. Best matches: ENFJ and ESFJ |
| You Should Be A Cancer |
 What's good about you: you're incredibly kind, caring, and generous What's bad about you: you can be too moody and impossible to understand In love: you enjoy wining and dining the object of your affection In friendship, you're: likely to depend on other friends for emotional support Your ideal job: historian, marine biologist, or religious figure Your sense of fashion: you dress to match your mood You like to pig out on: classic home cooked meals, like mac and cheese |
e rest find out urself..bleahx!
....
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
Early morning, woke up and was thinking of watching Bleach from where I stopped previously. On the computer, chat with real mum for a while. I requested her to help me keep a look out if there's any opportunity for me to teach maths. I'm currently desperate to earn money to buy what I've been wanting to buy, which had always halted by my parents living together with me in the past. Later on, didn't manage to find time to resume the watch. Only allowed it to load, I was then asked if I would like to join mum and brother for breakfast. It would be bad to disagree with this current situation. As usual, I told them to go first whilst I took a shower before going there.
Reached, and got lectured by brother and mum. they ask me to study hard and they ask what courses do I want to take. Frankly speaking, I wanted music. But no courses offered concerning music. So I told them accounting. Continue the conversation by saying that that was my second interest. I would like to look for music for any instance. Without hesitation my mum seems to object seriously, with an indirect way of speaking. I could tell from her tone and her reaction which obviously do not appear to be convinced. Since young she's been telling me the same thing over and over again! She said,"Music can't give you a bright future! Furthermore, you can't earn a living from there!" (It was in Mandarin) I was so deeply hurt and why can't she just show some respect for musician! Not a single positive words can she give about music. Following after, was my brother's turn. He said that I don't looks any mature with that kinda clothing. I suppose I had read in between the lines. And I had to defend myself so I said to him," When was I ever having sufficient monetary figure to spent! In addition, all my clothes in my wardrobe are all this style of dressing!" Having that, it just reminded me that he always got twice the amount of money given by mum as compared to me. It's always nevertheless childish to be thinking of this way. But I just can't help it when I'm feeling so pissed off! He's always more fortunate than me in almost every single way. He get to pursue and obtain support from family during his secondary school life of his interest in basketball. But of course he did not look into he that much for his policy is that human must be practical and face the reality that this is just a dream world. Certainly, he had a change in his interest now. Whereas as for me, I always got criticize in the family for being a councilor and band member. Ironically, my brother is always the one who fought for me in front of my mum as well. They always said that it's useless and wasting of time for me to join such activities.
Even then, all I could do is to bear and endure all this comment given. Sometimes, I just feel that I'm really that hopeless. My only hope is to have time pass faster and faster so that I could have a house of my own. I wouldn't mind staying alone. As long as I'm able to lead a better life of my own. Not to my surprise, they are of no blood relation to me and it's not their fault. My preferred style of living is just so different from theirs. They are also the one who brought me up. It's time for me to repay them as well, as long as I've entered society.
Really, I think there's too much confusion in my life currently. It's being entangled to the extend that if anyone dare to try to solve the entangle(illustration of an entangled strings) so that they could be straight again, it wouldn't be only one string that got divided, all the rest of the strings will be involve as well- they will be tore apart and that's the end.
I just feel that my heart is 'sinking' every night, in which before I sleep, I will always take a gander around my bed. Sometimes, just starring into sky. I'm really sensitive and susceptible to emotional injury now..
meLeonard walked through the seasons at
